Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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