Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
