shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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