my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
