well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
