Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
