Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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