none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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