im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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