I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
