Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
