mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
