Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
