Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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