Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
