I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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