I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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