Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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