Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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