garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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