FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sobbing to NWA
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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