He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
