I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize