direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
