I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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