I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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