I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize