Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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