Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
