hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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