It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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