been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
