I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
