Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
