this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
