I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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