For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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