pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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