I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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