So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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