I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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