I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize