i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
