Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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