The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
