we have pet lesbian snakes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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