bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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