Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
