he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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