is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
