yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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