I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize