Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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