Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
