lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
