look no pants
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I party with great urgency now.
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