I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
