I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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