Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
